Saimdang Light's Diary: A View of Woman's Own

Title: Saimdang's Light Diary

Country: South Korea

Released Year: 2017

Episode: 28 episodes

Genre: Historical sageuk

Actor: 

Lee Young-ae as Shin Saimdang

Song Seung-hoon as Lee Gyeom

Yang Sejong as young Lee Gyeom

Park Hye-soo as young Shin Saimdang

I can't believe I live the moment to write about K drama and feminism in one blog post. K drama or Asian drama is not the best platform to satisfy your inner feminist self or to watch how feminism has progressed up to the recent years. Because South Korea and Asian in general has a strong patriarchal culture, it can't be help to be reflected in their drama content. I bet more than half to majority employees in of the drama production company, the broadcaster company are men. Though I bet the majority of the audiences are women. People who make our beloved drama possible to air are in our opposite gender.

I read somewhere that we should write what we feel, so I do. I feel the urgent need to write this here and now. It is probably was the time. I feel rage and angry. I prefer playful and witty, but deep down inside I always this raging feminist. I was mad when those people called them feminist make feminist is all about how we choose to dress our self. I was mad when those people who self-proclaim they are feminist just because they dress like they want to dress their selves and still I know they will find excuse using their female gender when they face with some "female’s" responsibility and find the excuse from feminist movement. I was mad when those people drag down the other women who choose to dress themselves not according to them and yet these women are the ones, despite their unfortunate environment, the oppressing patriarchal culture, showing with their actions, how woman empowerment should be like. How these woman behind their 'veil', behind these closing doors fight their right to go to school, have proper education, have right to participate in election, fight against child marriage, even fight their right to go outside their home without some male companionship. What these self-proclaimed ignorant feminist to say that other woman is not feminist despite what they have been done? All I want to say "screw you".

As I live and learn, more than I want to be a 'good' woman who everybody would love or a 'model' feminist who every girl should look upon, I want to be just a decent human being. Just human, regardless the gender. I learn that gender is just a label society want to press on me. Once you out on label on yourself, it will find a way to control you, limit you without you even realize it. Sex as female and male, their reproduction organs, their physical differences are fact of life, but gender is social construct. I will live as Life needs me to be. I will not let other people force label on me. Now, mostly I live my life as genderless person.

My favorite book about feminism, it is witty and playful, without being cynical and bitter that seem plaguing feminism today (me included 😁 )

When I was still in twenty something self, I had so much energy to response with rage everything that offend my feminist side. You still can see the trace of the raging feminist here. I try to write all of this post without being too emotional. After feeling like enduring lone some battle to be a feminist in a patriarchal Asian country all with the ignorant, self-proclaimed feminist side eyeing us, it is hard to be not emotional. But I'm too old to be emotional and got offended easily. And then after passing 30 years old, I also have to deal with the society stigma of being single and not married. Ha, ha, ha. You know I have a professional job, working and taking responsibility as my job required me to do. I can support myself alone. I still strive to better myself professionally. But this society I'm living in still thinks I'm not successful and good enough daughter and woman because I'm still single. Ha, ha, ha. How funny these people are. They probably think woman who living off their family, shopping, gossiping, is better than us for single reason they have married already.

I acknowledge there're common sense and culture who shapes us that I think we all must be respected, but other than that no one has right to tell us how we are supposed to dress ourselves or even more try to define us by telling how we should lead our life, what a perfect life should be according their point of view.

Sometime it is easier to just surrender and playing the victim, clueless, hapless woman card than to live and solve every day problems with feminist sense of commitment. I know and experience the prejudice. So in this point of life I want to emphasize that feminism and genderless option are more than the accessories and the cloths that we are wearing, more than what people should call us, or honorific we should check list to fill the form, more than the choice to grow or not grow your sex hair, (because this is drama blog) more than what kind of drama you like to watch.

Being feminist for me is more about the choice we making when we face the everyday life problems and how we try to stand our ground not only asking our right as women but also being brave to shoulder the responsibility as a woman, or even decent human being. It is about our choice to support other women and help each other to reach their full potential in every role that Life requires women to fulfill. I know every woman have several roles (as a wife, a mother, a daughter, an employee and employer, an educator, a breadwinner, etc) in Life and society they need to perform, man can only dream of. It doesn’t matter what the role is, some women can’t even choose the roles they want to perform or not, some roles we can’t seem to escape either, we should be there to each other to help in case other women need our help to perform these roles. Some say gender is a performance.

Raised up in different culture, I disagree in certain aspects with the writer. But after lone some journey, I'm kind of grateful for any kind companionship. So Yes, together we rage away! 

It is hard, I know. This is the reason why I live as genderless person most of the time. It is hard to be a woman, it is harder to be a feminist woman. Sometimes I just want to give up. I just want to escape to world where I don’t feel discriminated, I can choose only women’s roles I want to perform, if I can’t choose I want somebody to help me shoulder the burden i.e. some kind-hearted hero who always be there for me, I can always strive to be better me without some prejudice, a world where women help each other not put each other down. But there’s Life to live and there’s no hero we speaking about. Ha, ha, ha. There’s only you, there’s only me. And there’s a drama world where our fantasy living up. J

It is hard, but this life commitment I have been making. If Life makes me to make a choice, no matter how many scenarios in my head with heroes everywhere, every time are ready to be a helping hand, with so many easy way outs, with playing the victim, hapless girl card out, I will choose to live by my life commitment. Some of my male friends, I’m just too hard to myself. I’m just acting like I’m brave. No, I’m not. Some of my female friends and my family say I’m scaring men off, I’m intimidating them. I’ll never get married. No, I’m not scaring them off. I’m not trying to intimidate people. If they choose to be a coward, it is not my problem to begin with. And marriage is not my life purpose or life achievement. My perfect, successful life doesn’t include marriage requirement.

It is hard, but it’s okay. I can do this. If I have to live by example, be it. My bravery is not an act. I’m scared sometimes, thus I reluctant to call myself feminist like many other women out there. I’m scared, tired, and want to run away. So there are where Drama world is standing as my refuge. It is there so when I’m back into real Life, I’ll be brave again. I will make this feminist movement into something that woman-friendly. It will include every woman in the world, even men. Someday I’ll not have to be this scared, this tired just trying to be a feminist self. No men will feel they get intimidated by woman living up her feminist self. There’ll be a world where people are free to choose the roles they want to perform and make the best of it.

This drama world surely rarely fit into my feminist POV. They will change or not not in the future, I don’t know. I believe many people have the same reason with me for watching K drama. We want to take a rest. We don’t want to be bitter. :D But I cannot close my eyes for things that are beyond my feminist self can handle. But even if I feel furious sometimes, I do that because I love you K drama. When you love someone you get a little bit emotional no? :P

Love probably the same reason why I’m not that really angry or complaining a lot about things in K drama or in Asian drama in general about all things those probably infuriate me in real life. Like for example wrist grabbing. Many people or many feminist women seem to angry with it. Well, honestly speaking, it doesn’t make me that angry for some reason. But until I watched the hero in Memory Lost wrist grabbing the heroine to force her to go on his way when it is clearly she intends to do otherwise. It does make me furious. Does the hero even have a mouth to speak? Or have eyes and ears to listen and see? So for some aspect wrist grabbing is depending on the context to ignite the raging feminist in me.

Seeing his behaviors, I think he is deaf and blind.

I don't understand why the writer thinks this act is romantic. When I say 'no', it means 'no'. Which part do you not understand?

Another common complaint from international fans about romantically tool that redeemed against woman empowerment is a forced kiss. I can see why people think it is romantic when a hero forced kisses the heroine. I give you the example when Ye Hua is forced kissing Bai Qian when he intends to tell her not to go to get Divine Fungal Grass for her master in Three Lives, Three worlds, Ten Miles of Peach Blossom. I love that drama and the novel also. But it doesn't make the scene less disturbing. I get the notion that perhaps some women redeem it as a romantic tool because they think it is preferable or romantic to have their men is stronger than them. It makes them feel safe perhaps. It easily to think it that way as easy as I imagine my hand is the first thing to land at that man's cheek before his lips actually touch mines. Hah!

We shall continue. Another drama trope that makes my eyes roll despite the romantically idea it promotes. The need of a hero to save the heroine every single time. This also seems harmless. One or to two saving will make the hero seem more heroic. But then three, four, five times, and so on the hero will become less heroic, and the heroine becomes more idiotic. 😡 Sometime this heroic stunt is added with some complement from the hero that the heroine is just a fragile, helpless, little girl, who need to be protected. He thinks it will amuse us, the heroine and the woman audience to say that we can't do anything without a man. Let me tell you boys, it is insulting.

I will never get Second Lead Syndrome with a man who treats the heroine like a fragile. hapless, doll and says she can do nothing without him around. Not in million years!

And what more ridiculous is when the drama promotes itself as woman centric drama, govern by a badass heroine. I take for example Princess Agents. The drama audience is clamoring about how badass the heroine is. I meant yes the heroine is written as a spy agents, skilled in archery, and martial art. She is sassy and takes no one as her boss. But how many times she has to be saved by the hero, even the second male lead is beyond ridiculous. I can't take her basaasery seriously. This is felt a half-assed attempt in the making of compelling heroine for just a click bait to watch the drama. The production team knows what the drama consumer, women, want and the gap in the drama market to satisfied the need.

Her badassary is 'unbelievable' if..

She needs to be helped over...

And over...

Again

Then suddenly faint....

But nevertheless, this helpless-heroine-who-need-to-be-saves-every-single-time-by-the-hero trope is really addicting stuff. Human is naturally always looking for easy route, really like having someone got everything done for us. I can’t help falling for it over and over again. This is the one reason I follow C drama because C drama is good in using this trope. Although I know that C drama likes playing pretense in making of compelling heroine, and it is kind of infuriate me when I found none of the premise. But after I watch one of the good C drama playing this card masterfully, I find myself looking some more. The reason I check C drama for time to time though looks like I’m beating a dead horse. If you watch drama as escapism like me you probably understand why we like this kind of trope. In real life the situation, also part of choice, that makes me want to handle everything on my own. In my down time or rest time I want someone who will there for me when everything seems too hard to handle by myself alone. It gives us or me hope that there one day, one day, for now on we can still hang on there, it will be someone who can make us feel like finally we can take a rest for real. It is kind of salvation. Ahem.

Another time, another trope. Women rivalry. Many dramas promise good, delicious, makjang conflicts within the drama using this trope. If bromance is one of the things that make me stick to a drama, it is a women Rivalry is also one that makes stay tune. See the contrast. I’m, woman, ashamed to myself. I reluctant to start one, every time I read a drama promote a women rivalry as its basic premise (Perfect Wife, Women of Dignity, Cinderella Sister, All About Eve, All That Glitters, etc). But once I deep in and taste the water, I do find it is deliciously addicting, rich source of conflict. The production team is only milking out of it. It is sad that the hero can have some best friends and the heroine doesn’t have any of the luxury, friendship from other female characters. See Princess Agents.

Other shamefully fact that I have to admit, the sistemance is not as quite compelling as its opposite bromance. There are a lot of more dramas promoting a good bromance (Nirvana in Fire, A Lonely Shining Goblin, Cruel City, etc) than a drama about a sistemance (Age of Youth, I Need Romance 1, and Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo). When one day the heroine has a good, loyal, female companion, the drama relegates her into a maid or a nanny like bruh (Seven Day Queen, The Princess Weiyoung, The Eternal Love). Or….once the heroine finally got a best friend, a male for this time, the drama turns him into a lover. Lol. You know the best friend-turns-into-a-lover is one of drama themes that dear to my heart, but still… are there only limited types of friendship a woman can have? 

The last but not least thing that I want to rant and define the paradox about feminism and K drama or other Asian drama addict stance. It is not about a drama tool, it is about A freaking Drama. Can you imagine a drama that is supposed to be about a woman role model but it insults my feminist side in every level? Any other drama tropes I said above whether or not they bothering me from my feminist POV depend how they are looked in the context, or how many time they have been used in the drama. But Saimdang Light's Diary offensiveness is subtle but in more profound way. How can it be so? Why can I finish it until the last episode? Mysteries of the universe.

I start to watch Saimdang Light Diary for the premise that she is an excellent woman painter rising from era when women equality has yet to be heard. I thought it could be like Painter in The Wind. That drama is such a feast for the eyes solely from the drawing scenes and all the paintings displayed on the drama.😛 Although the producing team will try to make loose interpretation and infuse some romance in the drama in Saimdang. Okay, what would a K drama do without its romance? But wait until I figure that this real historical figure will be romancing a fictional character that the production team made up, not the historical figure's real spouse in real life. I thought, hm, hm ,hm  is not that too risky? They really want to turn this romance into extramarital affair? For high regarded woman mother figure of your country? Are you insane? It is smelt like a disaster.

I don't get it why his character is needed, because even the writer write him off, it doesn't affect the story much 

But I said okay I like it when a drama not trying to play it safe. Discuss a controversial issue, give it a different light. I really hoped it could be one of the kinds. I like Lee Young-ae. She is so pretty, elegantly pretty. Song Seung-hoon is a pretty too. I love pretty things, so yes I would give a try. As a starter, this drama is divided into two time lines the modern time and the Joseon time lines. I presumed these two time lines would give the two main female characters, both played by Lee Young-ae, different perspective. But I told you, those two time lines is just useless, just an excuses for commercial purposes, a place for product placement. Since they can freely put a modern product placement in Joseon story line without rising eye brows, aren’t they?

I got you PPL

In the modern time line, Lee young-ae plays a modern post graduate student who has been harassed by her male professor. The professor asked her to do menial jobs, from cooking at his house, serving at his home party, till to be his personal secretary as a replacement for his guidance for her thesis in progress. Meanwhile in Joseon time, Lee young-ae plays a housewife from a yangbang family without any son, who married not so affluent husband. That house wife then turns to a paper entrepreneur and then her artistic sense and skill brings her to be one and only female royal painter.

Both of them face some marital problems. In the modern days, she got her husband running away, left her with a lot of debt and homeless, not to mention abusive mother in law who treats her son as the most precious kind who has done nothing wrong. She blames her daughter in law for everything that happens to the family. In Joseon days, she got also good for nothing runaway husband, who rely on his wife family to feed his wife and plenty full of children. What makes him even worst he is ungrateful cheating husband. Or it is how the production team said him so.

I think from the description, the writer wants to tell the audience that the problems those women face have not changed much from the Joseon era till recent time. Lack of opportunities to achieve their potential in the form of misogynist discrimination and also the huge responsibility to take care family problem, like she is single-handedly can produce a baby on her own, in the absent of her husband. Good intention, but bad execution. I think the writer wants to show us about moral integrity or core value that should be possessed by ‘good’ woman. And this moral integrity or core value doesn’t change throughout these years.

I meant, wait a minute. Does this writer want to dismiss all the hard work that has been done by feminist activists until now? I admit that there’re still many things to be worked out to make the gap in gender disparity smaller. But to say that there’s nothing has changed would be a lie too. I thought with different setting, with different era, the lead female character in Saimdang’s Light Diary will choose different choices, lead a life, she couldn’t have lived. In different era, she can choose herself, without the society turn their back on her, mocking her, or she can choose herself without she must sacrifice her children, her love, and her passion. Even the rating of the drama shows us that how women have changed in recent years, how much change have been taken place in how women want a woman character in dramas to be written and portrayed.

I was so furious when the writer made Saimdang had to apologize to her husband because it was her fault that makes him cheating on her. He had done nothing wrong; it was her fault so she must take responsibility for it by accepting her husband’s mistress into her household and even providing their needs. Dear God, I was so mad. I understand she can’t just divorce him in Joseon era. I bet there’s no term like ‘divorce’ in that era. And also what would happen to their children if she divorces him? What would happen to her life, her paper business, her art in society with prejudice against woman who leaves her husband behind? Not good. But divorce is different with accepting back the cheating husband into her household like nothing has happened. It just sends the wrong message. What things she want to teach to her son and daughter? Is the thing that cheating is okay? That betrayal is acceptable? That hurting other people’s feeling is okay? That woman doesn’t have any value if not for their services provided for her husband and her children?

And no amount of education will change a woman’s position in marriage, or woman’s perception about marriage itself. Lee Young-ae’s character in modern time line is a postdoctoral student that can still provide for herself plus paying her husband’s debt without her husband’s help. But it is still not her decision to choose what kind of marriage she wants in her life. Good woman is one who accepting whatever kind of marriage her husband has in his mind. Marriage is a woman’s servitude, not partnership. The husband is the sun and everyone else exists to serve him. If there’s something wrong in the marriage, something doesn’t work well; it is the wife who needs to change, makes adjustment, and compromises. She should have felt grateful that her husband is back and wants to stay at her side. La, la, la. Saimdang Light’s Diary writer is just crazy.

The reason I write this lengthy post is not just the dramas and drama tools those don’t settle well with feminism or woman empowerment in general. But recently I watch dramas that make me sure there’s change in K dramas land scape and woman’s world in relation with woman empowerment or feminism. I can sense the change is a progress.  It makes a little feminist remain in me feel optimistic. 

There’re more woman centric dramas being produced these days even this year (Seven Day Queen, Angry Mom, Woman of Dignity, Perfect Wife, Strong Woman Do Bong-soon, Saimdang’s Light Diary, You’re Too Much, etc). Though sometimes the drama’s theme promoted is still in vague whether it in line with woman empowerment or it is only put woman in pedestal, treat woman’s relationship to other woman as source of conflict (Woman of Dignity, Perfect Wife). Or they make the said badass heroine just for gimmick. They make her badassary so superficial, it almost looks like they mock us instead (Strong Woman Do Bong-soon). I take Chae-kyung’s any day as badass heroine to Do Bong-soon with all immense power.

As I said before, I don’t want to judge woman whether they are feminist or not, so they deserve to be ousted or inserted in woman empowerment, based on the drama genre they like or their pet peeves drama tools. Because a drama like Woman of Dignity that seems put women against each other, in fact I think giving good view inside women’s world and what woman with feminism in her heart should be like. Look how badassry Woo Ahn-jin has when she decides to keep promoting her husband’s mistress’ paintings. She is surely stronger than Do Bong-soon. And unlike Lee Young-ae’s character in Saimdang who uses for ‘her child’s greater good’ reason, so she chooses to stay married to lousy husband. Woo Ahn-jin chooses to divorce her good-for-nothing husband because she thinks she will not teach her daughter good values about life, about marriage, and about womanhood if she stays in marriage. 

Park Bo-ja: "I want to be like you, Woo-jin ssi"
Audience: "We do too"

I also applaud her reason to leave her husband is the different of their values in life and marriage, not because her husband’s affair. Sure affair can be ended, she can forgive him, and she can get along well with the mistress eventually. But what about their different values in life and marriage? Yes, he can change, but it is not her responsibility to change him. I think there’re more behind why people have an affair, and marriage should be more than just a constitution that binds two people. Behind someone’s choice (man or woman) to support multi partners marriage or not shows his or her value in life, human relationship, and loyalty. And the last from Woman of Dignity: What are those men thinking that they deserve more than anyone to have more than one wife? What good things those have been done by them that make they feel so privileged?

And some drama doesn’t need a woman centric theme to support feminism. Take for example Secret Forest. I can assure you that I will tune in for Secret Forest writer’s next project for only how she portrays woman characters in her drama. I think Secret Forest shows more woman empowerment than woman centric dramas like Princess Agents or Strong Woman Do Bong-soon. The central character in Secret Forest is Hwang Shi-mok, an emotionless, male prosecutor. Sure he’s beyond adorable, I love him. He’s the reason why I kept stay tune for the first few episodes, but after that two woman characters (Han Yeo-jin & Young Eun-soo) in the drama enchanted me. The writer let her woman characters shine own their own. Yeo-jin isn’t written to make Hwang Shi-mok looked cooler. Because sure as hell, Yeo-jin is cooler than Shi-mok, though he is more adorable. Ha, ha, ha. She has her own story line. Her world doesn’t circle around his world. She doesn’t need to be saved by him. The writer didn’t make the two woman characters antagonist toward each other. Those women are different but that doesn’t mean one good and the other bad. This is how woman relationship should be portrayed.

At the end, after so many words, feminism is more than every word has been written in here, more than how you want to be addressed in real life or on piece of paper, more than your choice of cloth and accessories, even more than the type of drama you like. What about the values that women hold dear in her life? What about how someone treats other women? What about things that have been done to help other women to reach their potential? How can we embrace men in feminist movement when we keep excluding other women? Those women with sexy dress and high heels don’t mean they are more feminist than those women with hijab and burka. Or the other wise, right? We have different battle to face, but that doesn’t make us less feminist than the other. I dream of a world where feminist becomes a woman-friendly word.

So wait is it the end??  :P Yes, I’m going to hide in genderless cave to recharge, hoping when I come out next time there’s a better world waiting for me. This madness rambling really takes a lot of energy. Sigh.