Tulus - Interaksi (English translation)

 

Tulus - Interaction 

How I was supposed to know about the day

The day when I came to know you

It was not what I planned to or I looked for

I guess it was when the seed of broken heart starting to grow

If like this.....

If I can choose, not meeting you,

It is what I would choose

If I can avoid the interaction line,

 It is what I would choose

I want to take you to see all the beautiful places

Typically cliche, I just want to know what you are thinking

I don't know whether I really want it or I just love it

The fragile heart defies the challange, again and again

Me whom cannot control, swimming in pool of sadness

Yet, it is what I choose

Me whom cannot control my own heart, recognize the heart

And, I choose nothing at all

Universe and its whole energy

Whether in its creation, there is me?

If it is not for me

Stop me from the broken heart

If it is for me

Come here and near

And if it is not for me

Please fade away

Fade away or come near 

Random Me Part 10

The Telegram

Before I sleep, I need to write this
Every time I check the telegram,

and I see your account is online,
I  have to hold my self

Not to press
The icon of messages
and type...

Hi!

Hello!

How are you?!?
 
Incoherent alphabets:
kjhkahjfkjahsdjkhjskdfhkjsdfhkls

An intended typo:
Hgw qre pru? I mqqu bou si nucg. I lkvi yiu farrvqr.

Cryptic symbols:
)$##><:{&*(& ~!+?><;' &^%
       
Emotional unrelated emojis:
😄😨😲🙈🙀🏨🙀👹🤖😺🤎👱‍♂️🧑‍🦱

At the end
The last button
I finally press
one that is not on keyboard interface
It is the button of fear you'll walk away,
never return back.

But
The more I check

The more mistakes are bound to happen

Random Me Part 9

To Dorothy
~ Marvin Bell

You are not beautiful, exactly.
You are beautiful, inexactly.
You let a weed grow by the mulberry
And a mulberry grow by the house.
So close, that in the personal quiet
Of a windy night, it brushes the wall
And sweeps away the day till we sleep.

A child said it, and it seemed true:
"Things that are lost are all equal."
But it isn't true. If I lost you,
The air wouldn't move, nor the tree grow.
Someone would pull the weed, my flower.
The quiet wouldn't be yours. If I lost you,
I'd have to ask the grass to let me sleep.

Random Me Part 8

Singularity (after Stephen Hawking)
- Marie Howe

Do you sometimes want to wake up to the singularity
we once were?

so compact nobody
needed a bed, or food or money—

nobody hiding in the school bathroom
or home alone

pulling open the drawer

where the pills are kept.

For every atom belonging to me as good

Belongs to you.   Remember?

There was no   Nature.    No

 them.   No tests

to determine if the elephant

grieves her calf    or if

the coral reef feels pain.    Trashed

oceans don’t speak English or Farsi or French;

would that we could wake up   to what we were

— when we were ocean    and before that

to when sky was earth, and animal was energy, and rock was

liquid and stars were space and space was not

at all — nothing

before we came to believe humans were so important

before this awful loneliness.

Can molecules recall it?

what once was?    before anything happened?

No I, no We, no one. No was

No verb      no noun

only a tiny tiny dot brimming with

is is is is is

All   everything   home

Random Me Part 7

Seasons

Lang Leav

If I had to choose a season, which would it be?

The golden dunes of summer, wild and free

The quiet breath of winter - trees bare and stark

Or spring's flowers and her honeybees?

Would I swim in the ocean or walk in the park?

Or catch the sunset before it grows dark?

What page of the calendar that I would mark?

I'd choose fall - the season you came back to me

The Season Like You

Singer: Jang Hye-jin

Composer: Hen

Arranger: Hen

Lyricist: Hen

Album: When My Love Blooms (Original Television Soundtrack) Pt. 1

Released: April 26, 2020

봄 피어나는 우리의 마음

널 기다리는 설레는 마음

흩날리는 우리의 눈빛들

여름 간지러운 감정의 속삭임

이마에 맺힌 그리움 모두

그대가 주는 새로움

가을 짙게 물드는 우리의 마음

선선한 바람을 닮은 너의

미소와 처음 보는 표정들

너라는 계절은 살아본 적 없는 낯선 풍경

마주한 적 없는 아름다움

다시없을 줄 알았는데 이 설렘들

겨울 멀어질까 두려워지는 마음

그리움에 코 끝이 시린 밤

하늘에 걸린 나의 한숨들

너라는 계절은 살아본 적 없는 낯선 풍경

마주한 적 없는 아름다움

다신 못 볼 줄 알았는데 이 설렘들

너와의 계절은 가장 아름다운 하늘의 색

다신 볼 수 없는 아름다움

사랑해 사랑해 지금 우리의 계절

It starts with poem and ends with song. 

Promise, I will like all seasons in a year

All the seasons when you are here 😘

Ha, ha, ha, ha

Random Me Part 6

Love at The First Sight 

Wislawa Szymborska

Both are convinced

that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together.

Beautiful is such a certainty,

but uncertainty is more beautiful.

Because they didn't know each other earlier, they suppose that

nothing was happening between them.

What of the streets, stairways and corridors

where they could have passed each other long ago?

I'd like to ask them

whether they remember-- perhaps in a revolving door

ever being face to face?

an "excuse me" in a crowd

or a voice "wrong number" in the receiver.

But I know their answer:

no, they don't remember.

They'd be greatly astonished

to learn that for a long time

chance had been playing with them.

Not yet wholly ready

to transform into fate for them

it approached them, then backed off,

stood in their way

and, suppressing a giggle,

jumped to the side. There were signs, signals:

but what of it if they were illegible.

Perhaps three years ago,

or last Tuesday

did a certain leaflet fly

from shoulder to shoulder?

There was something lost and picked up.

Who knows but what it was a ball

in the bushes of childhood.

There were doorknobs and bells

on which earlier

touch piled on touch.

Bags beside each other in the luggage room.

Perhaps they had the same dream on a certain night,

suddenly erased after waking.

Every beginning

is but a continuation,

and the book of events

is never more than half open.

Random Me Part 5

On Silence
~ Nora Cooper

A little while ago, another poet asked me for the name of my abuser.

They said this was to protect their friends, so I told them. 

I didn’t want to. I thought I had to.

It’s just that I have heard so much about survival, like I should not lie. 

If I’m going to cry, “wolf,” then I must name it. 

Don’t be another girl making another mountain out of another mole hill. 

I have heard so much about strength. 

So much about how the voice is a redemption. 

How to speak is to heal. 

Sometimes, I feel like everyone just wants the resurrection story out of me. 

The parts of my survival I know how to make useful. 

I am so ashamed of all that which I do not say. 

Sometimes, I don’t want to talked about it.

I don’t want to write a poem about it. I don’t want to tell my mom. 

I don’t want anyone to look at me like I am brave. 

Or like I am a little bird with a broken wing. 

Or to look at me at all. 

Sometimes, my heart is breaking, and other times I am just tired.

I have spent so much time at war with my silence, I have forgotten everything she has done for me.
When I was terrified to speak. 

When my abuser was in the audience at a slam. 

When they talked to me after. 

When my silence met their’s. 

When this poet demanded a name of me. 

When my stomach was nothing but a mass of fear and obligation. 

My silence took my hand, squeezed it gently as if to say, 

“You owe them nothing. I am here if you need me. Speak only if you want to.” 

So to you, quiet child, 

who have kept everything just inside your mouth for whatever reason, I see you.

Even when you say nothing, I believe you. 

I believe you are scared. 

I believe that it hurts. 

I believe that it happened. 

I believe that you loved them. 

I believe that you didn’t. 

I believe that you still do. 

I believe that you are confused about forgiveness and justice. 

Believe me, quiet child, you are doing nothing wrong. 

There is no right or wrong here, there is only your choice. 

You speak when you are ready, I promise, your silence has not set a caged beast free. 

You did not release a monster. 

You survived one. 

Trust me, quiet child, I know of a girl before me,
I do not blame her silence.
I do not blame her.

My silence hears this poem, looks at me, teary-eyed and says....
I say, “I’m sorry I hated you. I always thought you were the weakest part of me.
The part that needed the most forgiveness, but no.
You are the first one who never asked me to prove anything.
The only one who believed me before I spoke. And after.”

And now, when my silence takes my hand, I squeeze back.
I say, “I know.”
I say, “Thank you.”
And I mean it.

Like I cry every single time, I listen to this poem. Literally, Every.Single.Time. And I've listened to it for thousand times. Like someone puts balm to my wound and says everything is going to be okay, the wound is going to heal, and you are going to be okay. Hang in there a little bit more. Just one more day. When I can't trust my self for saying I'm okay. So thank you.

Random Me Part 4

Speaking Tree
~ Joy Harjo

I had a beautiful dream I was dancing with a tree

~ Sandra Cisneros

Some things on this earth are unspeakable:
Genealogy of the broken -
A shy wind threading leaves after a massacre,
Or the smell of coffee and no one there -

Some humans say tree are not sentinent beings,
But they do not understand poetry -

Nor can they hear the singing of trees when they are fed by wind, or water music -
Or hear their cries of anguish when they are broken and bereft -

Now I am a woman longing to be a tree, planted in a moist, dark earth
Between sunrise and sunset -

I cannot walk through all realms -
I carry a yearning I cannot bear alone in the dark -

What shall I do with all this heartache?

Random Me Part 3

Mad Girl's Love Song

by Sylvia Plath

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;

I lift my lids and all is born again.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,

And arbitrary blackness gallops in:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed

And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:

Exit seraphim and Satan's men:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,

But I grow old and I forget your name.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunder bird instead;

At least when spring comes they roar back again.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Random Me Part 2

Hands

Sarah Kay

People used to tell me that I had beautiful hands.
They told me so often, in fact, that one day I started to
believe them; I started listening. Until I asked my
photographer father, Hey Daddy, could I be a hand model?

To which Dad laughed and said, No way.
I don’t remember the reason he gave,
and it probably didn’t matter anyway.
I would have been upset, but there were

far too many crayons to grab, too many
stuffed animals to hold, too many ponytails to tie,
too many homework assignments to write,
too many boys to wave at, too many years to grow.

We used to have a game, my dad and I, about holding hands.
We held hands everywhere. In the car, on the bus, on the street,
at a movie. And every time, either he or I would whisper a
great big number to the other, pretending that we were

keeping track of how many times we had held hands,
that we were sure this one had to be eight-million,
two-thousand, seven-hundred and fifty-three.
Hands learn. More than minds do.

Hands learn how to hold other hands.
How to grip pencils and mold poetry.
How to memorize computer keys
and telephone buttons in the dark.

How to tickle pianos and grip bicycle handles.
How to dribble a basketball and how to peel apart
pages of Sunday comics that somehow always seem to stick together.
They learn how to touch old people and how to hold babies.

I love hands like I love people. They are the maps and
compasses with which we navigate our way through life,
feeling our way over mountains passed and valleys crossed;
they are our histories.

Some people read palms to tell your future,
I read hands to tell your past.
Each scar marks a story worth telling. Each callused palm,
each cracked knuckle, is a broken bottle, a missed punch,

a rusty nail, years in a factory.
Now, I watch Middle Eastern hands
clenched in Middle Eastern fists.
Pounding against each other like war drums,

each country sees their fists as warriors,
and others as enemies, even if fists alone are only hands.
But this is not a poem about politics; hands are not about politics.
This is a poem about love.

And fingers. Fingers interlocked like a beautiful accordion of flesh
or a zipper of prayer. One time, I grabbed my dad’s hand
so that our fingers interlocked perfectly, but he changed his
position, saying, No, that hand-hold is for your mom.

Kids high five, sounds of hand-to-hand combat
instead mark camaraderie and teamwork.
Now, grown up, we learn to shake hands.
You need a firm handshake, but not too tight, don’t be limp now,

don’t drop too soon, but for God’s sake don’t hold on too long…
but…hands are not about politics?
When did it become so complicated?
I always thought it simple.

The other day, my dad looked at my hands, as if seeing them
for the first time. And with laughter behind his eyelids,
with all the seriousness a man of his humor could muster, he said,
You’ve got nice hands. You could’ve been a hand model.

And before the laughter can escape me,
I shake my head at him,
and squeeze his hand.
Eight-million, two-thousand, seven-hundred and fifty-four.

Random Me Part 1

Under One Small Star

Wislawa Szymborska

My apologies to chance for calling it necessity.

My apologies to necessity if I'm mistaken, after all.

Please, don't be angry, happiness, that I take you as my due.
May my dead be patient with the way my memories fade.
My apologies to time for all the world I overlook each second.
My apologies to past love for thinking that the latest is the first.
Forgive me, open wound, for pricking my finger.
I apologize for my record of minutes to those who cry from the depths.
I apologize to those who wait in railway stations for being asleep today at five a.m.
Pardon me, hounded hope, for laughing from time to time.
Pardon me, deserts, that I don't rush to you bearing a spoonful of water.
And you, falcon, unchanging year after year, always in the same cage,
your gaze always fixed on the same point in space,
forgive me, even if it turns out you were stuffed.
My apologies to the felled tree for the table's four legs.
My apologies to great questions for small answers.
Truth, please don't pay me much attention.
Dignity, please be magnanimous.
Bear with me, O mystery of existence, as I pluck the occasional thread from your train.
Soul, don't take offense that I've only got you now and then.
My apologies to everything that I can't be everywhere at once.
My apologies to everyone that I can't be each woman and each man.
I know I won't be justified as long as I live,
since I, myself, stand in my own way.
Don't bear me ill will speech, that I borrow weighty words,
then labor heavily so that they seem light.  

What is Happening in Indonesia: 10 Asia + Star, Indonesia Edition

Last month when I was doing my favorite activity on weekend which is going to book store to book store, I was kind of surprised with what I saw. There’s a big billboard with one of JYJ members’ face on it looking sharp at the main entrance of one of the book stores. My fangirl’s alarm pinged. I went closer to take a look. There're piles and piles copy of magazines with pink 10 Asia + Star on their cover. Apparently 10 Asia + Star magazine, 1st Indonesia edition had been born.

Publisher: Elex Media Komputindo
Publish Date: May 30, 2012
Page: 128
Language: Bahasa Indonesia

My 1st encounter with 10 Asia was when I started to revitalize this blog after very long hiatus due my study last year. Before that I only saw “10 Asia” stamped on pictures of Korean celebrities here and there around the web. I really like their taken on K indie bands with Indie 10 Series. Like these: Female singer of Yozoh, Neon Bunny, Day Break, No Reply, The Knoxx, Winterplay.

Thanks to all translators of World Wide Web (this, this, this, this, this and of course Allkpop are where I like to get my K indie music news in English) who have done tremendous jobs, we got the chance to read some of Korean written articles about K indie music. Aside from that, there’re articles those were written in English at the time they were published by 10 Asia (Go to its Korean Wave section). It is kinda tricky to find information, a good reading article moreover, about K indie music scene or anything outside K pop or K drama as a part of K entertainment for us, whose Korean language ability is around limited to none. So when there’s a source that minds to provide us the information, ready available in English, we really appreciate it.

Despite 10 Asia magazine be one of my reliable sources for news outside K pop or K drama, it seems Indonesia edition of 10 Asia magazine, projects more to K pop idol industry and K drama news for their content. It will be not fair to judge by only its 1st edition. But with taking the consideration that Indonesia market in general tends toward that projection, I may presume that it looks like where it is going to be. If I were allowed to make superficial generalization about K pop fandom in Indonesia, they are clueless about anything else beside K pop, which means literally K idol here, and K drama. So it is understandable if that is the direction they are going to take.

So this is just another foot print of Hallyu Wave in Indonesia, else are K pop idol music that has penetrated Indonesia music market and K dramas that have been flooding Indonesia TV stations’ air time. Just like 1st Indonesia edition, 10 Asia + Star magazine’s editorial said: “ The hype of K pop, K drama, Korean Wave in Indonesia, at the end of 2011 has intrigued us into participating the enrapture of this euphoria. A lot of information is spreading over internet also real world, nevertheless there’s only limited amount that have been presented formally.”

But there’s one thing that has been tickling my mind: How popular 10 Asia + Star magazine among K pop fandom in Indonesia as its target market? Is it popular enough that it can be considered as one highly valuable magazine brand like other franchise magazine brands eg Bazaar, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Nylon, etc those have already scattered in Indonesia, leaving our own magazines little room to breathe? It makes no sense to me if a franchise magazine has to build up its brand from the very bottom.

I, myself, cannot get rid the idea that K pop fever in Indonesia is only a fad, easy come, easy go.Though this statement has yet to be proved. So looking at the trajectory this magazine is going to take, K pop industry as their main covering, I can’t help but think: How long it is going to last? And there’s one more thing that I think can be happening to put another hindrance. The target market can be smaller than what’s expected that it is not equal with the level of popularity of K pop in Indonesia right now. When we talk about K pop lest we not to forget its infamously dedicated notorious fans. Yes they are probably too notorious that it will resolve the fact how high price this magazine is (around $ 6, compared to Indonesia NGM ±$ 5, Nylon ± $4, Elle ± $3) for its mostly teenage market. But they are also dedicated enough that they don’t mind to search, dig, translate, and spread any news from their beloved oppas and unnis at any source they can find to feed the endless fandom’s demand. This fact results on any news K pop idol related is fast-paced and easily out-dated information, moreover for a magazine that’s publishes once in a month and for an interview-based article. Who want to buy too-pricey-to-your-pocket magazine every month if the information in it can be archived freely on line? For myself, I rather buy a book which will never be out-dated and upgrade my internet bandwidth for unlimited source of fresh and up-to-date news.

Is it the end? Kh. No, it is not. :) This magazine really leaves me a lot of stuff to talk about. Reading 10 Asia + Star, 1st Indonesia edition, I kept stopping here and there: Is there something wrong with the translation??

Hallyu Wave or the flood of Korean culture entering Indonesia just happens recently. There’s not many Indonesia text that is translated directly from Korean. At least from my own side, I have never read one. It has become my routine in the last few years to check Korean entertainment news on internet every day, any day of the week, but I cannot remember I ever follow Indonesia written site for feeding my obsession. The reason is simple first: I cannot stand the thought there’s something limits my curiosity. If I can chop all the walls off and get my curiosity fix, I do whatever I can. Korean news site written in Indonesia is still limited and if there’s one, it is like almost every news on it I have already read it on English written sites I follow. Second: The thought of I get a second hand translation is boggled my mind like no other. There’s always something lost in translation no matter how small it is. People can try to minimize it but it is inevitable. So what’s going on is gonna be Korean -> English -> Bahasa Indonesia. Gah. How many things that will be lost in process? Can you imagine that?

That’s from Korean, it is different with English to Indonesian translation. I have plenty experiences from English to Bahasa Indonesia translation. I had become a translator, myself, while I was in university. And as Indonesian, I’m pretty much aware that Indonesia written source is limited almost in any field. So one must make his/her English good or he/she will be stuck with very limited source of information. I don’t know about other, but it can drive me nuts from time to time.

There’re times I can’t find the original English source, so whether I want it or not, I have to be content with anything that I have in my hand. This really sharpens my skill ( kh :D ) to recognize whether a text is a translation or an originally written in Bahasa Indonesia text. I can smell it from miles away. No matter how many Indonesia slang words people try to put in their translation, it cannot mask that it is a translation. It is just how the punctuation being places, the pattern of the sentence, the particles being used, or even the straightforwardness of the way information given. The sound in my head is different when I read an originally Indonesia written text, a translation, moreover an English text. It is less recognizable if the text is a fact-based text, but if it is a fiction, the difference is quite striking.

In fact I’m quite a fan of this English translation in Indonesia writing style. So one day, I made an experiment. I tried to invent a fiction story and try to write it with the style I mention above. How that happened I didn’t know myself. I couldn’t reach the level of “straightforwardness” as I found in an English translation. Or how to make it not sound “stiff” but still make it “English word free”? I simply just could not. I can only presume what culture we have been brought up that affects out personality will reflect in our language, written or spoken. That the best conclusion I can offer.

So back to 10 Asia + Star. When I was reading it, I kept bouncing to stop to gaze over some, if not many, sentences. I could understand, or guess for exact, what the sentence wants to tell me. But my head couldn’t stop asking: should not this phrase better being put in the end of sentence? Or should this word come first before this word? Or should this word being replaced with this word so the sentence sounds better? But it is not like the text from English that I can guess what the English word is before it got translated. It is Korean language we talk about. I could not guess, I could only get furrow between my brows. Reading it is like hearing a singer sings off key. I kept read and re-read just to find the best intonation I suppose to read the sentence in to give me best understanding.

It seemed like the translators were too afraid to be too deviated from the material given to them really wants to say, and then they chose to translate it word by word. So weird. By doing so, it made them looked like didn’t understand what the article as whole wants to deliver. This is one thing about of translating that at one point he/she has to have the overall comprehension of the material being translated to produce good translation. Seriously, based on the people who have been interviewed by this magazine, I know 10 Asia + Star is a big magazine back there, in South Korea, so I expect more than this less-than-decent translation. The translation quality just doesn’t match up. I'm not here to say this as a reader who sits down comparing two edition of magazine, Korean and Indonesia edition, but purely as Indonesian reader who read Indonesia edition.

Publisher: Elex Media Komputindo

Publish Date: June 6, 2012

Page: 128

Language: Bahasa Indonesia

There’s small inner voice of mine telling me what if, it is just the matter of language. I know there’s a lot Korean words those don’t have a compatible Indonesia word. What if this awkward sounding in my head Korean translation sentence couldn’t be made otherwise, better? I was a newbie too in this Korean translation thing, so I keep wondering the best explanation behind this. Recently I had followed a Korean class discuss about the progress of Korean poem. The lecture, itself, was given in Korean, but there was a translator accompanied by. He was a Korean and he was good. Though he spoke in highly accented Indonesian, I could understand easily what he was talking about. Because bahasa Indonesia is not about the accent since every ethnic groups in Indonesia have their own way of speaking bahasa Indonesia. If the person understands the language well, gone all the accent and he/she will sound just fine, once I relay what I heard in my head. So I was convinced, it was not because the matter of language. To be more convinced, I bought the second Indonesia edition of 10 Asia + Star. Thankfully, it came off better. *Sigh*

That first edition was a messy and horrible work of translator and editor that found its way up to be printed and published. Good luck with the new magazine! :D

비스트 (Beast) : Fact

거짓말이야 거짓말이야
Geojitmariya geojimariya
이렇게 끝낼수는없어
Ireoke kkeutnaelsu neun eobseo
다시 돌아와 제발 돌아와
Dasi dorawa jebal dorawa
니가 날 떠나가는게 믿기지가 않아
Niga nal tteona ganeun gemitgiji ga ana

어떤말을 너에게 해봐도 다소용이 없겠지만
Eotteon mareul neo-ege haebwado dasoyongi eopgetjiman
이건아니야 이건아니야 이사실을 믿지못하겠어
Igeon aniya igeon aniya isasireul michi mothagesseo

이건 모두 거짓말이야 사실이 아니야 더는 믿지못해
Igeon modu geojitmariya sasiri aniya deoneun michi mothae
돌아와 달라고 몇번을 말해 내게 이건 거짓말이야
Dorawa dallago myeotbeoneul marae naege igeon geojitmariya

이젠 너는 내옆에 없잖아 그게 사실이야 믿고싶지않아
Ijen neoneun nae yeope eopjana geuge sasiriya mitgo sipji ana
돌아와 달라고 수 없이 얘기해봐도
Dorawa dallago su eopsi yaegi haebwado
지금이 거짓말이여야해
Jigeumi geojimariyeo yahae
거짓말이야 거짓말이야 거짓말이야 거짓말이야
Geojitmaraya geojitmaraya geojitmariya geojitmariya
사실이아냐 사실이아냐 사실이아냐 사실이아냐
Sasirianya sasirianya sasirianya sasirianya

It’s a fact 머리는 아는데 맘이 인정을못하겠데
It’s fact meorineun aneunde mami injeongeul mothagetde
삼켜질듯한 불안감에 나도모르게 나오는 보호본능
Samkhyeojildeuthan bulangame nado moreuge naoneun bohobonneung
또는 집착인듯해 머리위로 툭하고 떨어져버린 이상황
Ttoneun jibchakin deuthae meoriwiro thukhago tteoreojyeobeorin isanghwang
도저히 감당할수가없어난 비워낼수없다면 새로 채워볼께
Dojeohi gamdanghalsu gaeopseonan biwonaelsu eopda myeon saero chaewobolkke
너와나의 이야길 다시 써내려갈께
Neowa na-e iyagil dasi sseonaereyogalkke

비스트 (Beast): Fiction

아직 난 널 잊지 못하고 모든걸 다 믿지 못하고 
Ajik nan neol iji mothago modeungeol da michi mothago
이렇게 널 보내지 못하고 오늘도
Ireoke neol bonaeji mothago oneuldo

다시 만들어볼게 우리 이야기 끝나지 않게 아주 기나긴
Dasi mandeureo bolke uri iyagi kkeutnaji anke aju ginagin
살갗을 파고 스며드는 상실감은 잠시 묻어둘게
Salgacheul phago seumyeodeuneun sangsilgameun jamsi mudeodulke
새로 써 내려가 시작은 행복하게 웃고 있는 너와 나
Saero sseo naeryeoga sijakeun haengbokhage utgo ineun neowana
네가 날 떠나지 못하게 배경은 출구가 없는 좁은 방 안
Nega nal tteonajimothage baegyeongeun chulguga eopneun jobeun bang an

아무렇지 않게 네게 키스하고 달콤한 너의 곁을 떠나가질 못해
Amureotji anke nege khiseuhago dalkhoman neo-e gyeotheul tteonagajil mothae
우린 끝이라는건 없어
Urin kkeuthiraneun geon eopseo

이렇게 난 또 (Fiction in Fiction)
Ireoke nan tto (Fiction in Fiction)
잊지 못하고 (Fiction in Fiction)
Iji mothago (Fiction in Fiction)
내 가슴 속에 끝나지 않을 이야길 쓰고 있어
Nae gaseumsoge kkeutnaji aneul iyagil sseugo isseo
널 붙잡을게 (Fiction in Fiction)
Neol butjabeulke (Fiction in Fiction)
놓지 않을게 (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
Noji aneulke (Fiction in Fiction)
끝나지 않은 너와 나의 이야기 속에서 오늘도 in Fiction
Kkeutnaji aneun neowa na-e iyagi sogeseo oneuldo in Fiction

지금 여긴 행복한 이야기들밖에 없어
Jigeum yeogin haengbokhan iyagi deulbakke eopseo
너무 행복한 우리 둘만의 이야기가 이렇게 (현실과는 다르게)
Nomu haengbokhan uri dulmanui iyagiga ireoke (hyeonsilgwaneun dareuke)
써 있어 점점 채워지고 있어
Sseo isseo jeomjeom chaewojigo isseo
너는 나에게로 달려와서 안기고
Neoneun na-egero dallyeo waseo angigo
품 안에 안긴 너를 나는 절대 놓지 못해
Phum ane angin neoreul naneun jeoltae noji mothae
우린 끝이라는건 없어
Urin kkeuchiraneun geon eopseo

이렇게 난 또 (Fiction in Fiction)
Ireoke nan tto (Fiction in Fiction)
끊지 못하고 (Fiction in Fiction)
Kkeunji mothago (Fiction in Fiction)
내 가슴 속에 끝나지 않을 이야길 쓰고 있어
Nae gaseumseoge kkeutnaji aneul iyagil sseugo isseeo
널 붙잡을게 (Fiction in Fiction)
Neol butjabeulke (Fiction in Fiction)
놓지 않을게 (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
Neoji aneulke (Fiction in Fiction)
끝나지 않은 너와 나의 이야기 속에서 오늘도 in Fiction
Kkeutnaji aneun neowa na-e iyagi sogeseo oneuldo in Fiction
다시 한 번 더 말하지만
Dasi hanbeon deo malhajiman
지금 너는 내 옆에 있다고 그렇게 믿고 있어 난
Jigeum neoneun nae yeophe itdago geureoke mitgo isseo nan

(하지만 Fiction)
(Hajiman Fiction)
난 목적을 잃어버린 작가 이 소설의
Nan mokjeogeul ireobeorin jakga isoseorui
끝은 어떻게 마무리 지어야 해
Kkeutheun eotteoke mamuri jieoya hae
사랑해 사랑해 사랑해 사랑해 사랑해 이 세 글자만
Saranghae saranghae saranghae saranghae saranghae ise geuljaman
써 내려가 무뎌진 펜 눈물로 얼룩진 낡은 종이 위로
Sseo naeryeo modyeojin phen nun mullo eollukjin nalgeun jongi wiro
행복할 수도 슬플 수도 없어 이 이야기는
Haengbokhal sudo seuloheul sudo eopseo i iyagineun

지금 난 너무나도 행복한 생각에 이야기를 쓰지만
Jigeum nan neomu nado haengbokhan saenggake iyagireul sseujiman
모든게 바람일 뿐이라고 여전히
Modeunge baramil ppun irago yeojeoni

난 행복한걸 (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
Nan haengbokhan geol (Fiction in Fiction)
우리 함께인걸 (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
Uri hamkke ingeol (Fiction in Fiction)
이제 시작인걸 (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
Ije sijak ingeol (Fiction in Fiction)
끝은 없는걸 (Fiction in Fiction in Fiction)
Kkeutheun eopneun geol (Fiction in Fiction)

Thanks To:
beastofficial, sakuraisme96, for the videos
10 Asia, elex media computindo for info and pictures

Revisiting J Drama: Hotaru no Hikari and what amiss on K drama adaptation of J drama

It has been 10 years and accounting. Sure there's time we break up and then the time we make up. There’re a good time and a bad time. The time we cry and laugh together. All these time I know when the world gets rough and it is cold outside, there's one I can always come back to. K drama and me.

There's a drama that so bad, it's word-inducing, there's a drama that so good leave me silent in satisfaction. Even if I have to watch ten thousand bad dramas, I know eventually there will come a time when everything hits the right spot that I don’t feel sleepy or even bother go to the bath room, all day image of yours, my dear K drama, swimming around in my head and I wonder when the time I can watch you again, and the day is just felt so perfect regardless what happen that day. That’s a time when my devotion will pay. All of the suffering from watching people dies of cancer, lovers being separated, spineless heroin being tortured and does nothing, and we can only greet our teeth are just gone.

So I had this discussion with my K drama addict friends after we read in year reviews at one of the outstanding English K drama site. We commented on which one of the reviewers should have just stopped watching K drama and which one whom we put our awe on for their long standing love for K drama. How long do you think this love will last? I asked myself. Is it just infatuation? When we should just stop this insanity? Why should we? Is it worth for all those sleepless night? All I know the longer we stay in this craziness, the grumpier we become as a K drama watcher. This is the time when all K drama looks the same. We start to recognize all their true faces, the cliché. When watching K drama feels more like a task than a refreshment (I look at you, err and myself, K Drama blogger), does it mean our time has come?

So I took a walk and only to find:

Title: ホタルノヒカリ

Title (romaji): Hotaru no Hikari

Title (English): Glow of Fireflies

Genre: Romantic comedy

Broadcast network: NTV

Season 1

Episodes: 10 

Broadcast Period: 2007-Jul-11 to 2007-Sep-12

Air Time: Wednesday 22:00

Main Cast:

Ayase Haruka as Amemiya Hotaru

Fujiki Naohito as Takano Seiichi

Kato Kazuki as Teshima Makoto

Kuninaka Ryoko as Saegusa Yuuka

Season 2

Episodes: 11

Broadcast Period: 2010-Jul-07 to 2010-Sep-15

Air Time: Wednesday 22:00

Main Cast:

Ayase Haruka as Amemiya Hotaru

Fujiki Naohito as Takano Seiichi

Mukai Osamu as Seno Kazuma

Oh how I love you Hotaru No Hikari!  This drama is just spot on, in every right place. This has everything that I want from romantic comedy drama. Just perfection. The story is simple. The story arc never goes to crazyville till give me brain leak. The characters are relate able. The character development is there, yet not over done. The chemistry between its leads is crackling, not forget to mention they are cute to boot. It is fluffy but meaningful. It is funny and not too overly romantic. Well done. I give you my Golden Globe. Straight goes to my precious re-watchable drama list :D

Ackkk

Double Ackkkk

Both of them are the cutest thing :D

I was flipping thro and fro, writing, and re-writing, only to press backspace again. I guess this is one of dramas that leave me silent in satisfaction. I can’t find eloquent words to say how awesomely this drama has satisfied me. More than the love story in the drama, I require good message delivery and a bit sense of reality from my drama. Ok, just a bit of a bit. And they gave me these, so how could I complain:

True love allows you to be the way you are and to grow to be a better you

True love can give you comfort even in silent

True love is made up from many small gestures

True love makes you happy

They do misunderstand 

But then how far this couple try to understand each other really.....
Cracks me up. LMAO. This is from my favorite episode

True love understands

True love asks forgiveness and forgives

SPOILER :P

True love is eventually the thing that bends the space and time continuum

For the longest time, I keep thinking about what formula of rom com drama most appealing to me. When I was younger, it was used to be easier to say that my favorite drama genre was romantic comedy. It is slightly different now. As I grow older, slowly I find the answer why.

Good  romantic comedy drama for me instead of giving its whole energy trying to prove that love is the greatest thing in life, it should have picked up many little things that make up life what it is, dream, failure, struggling, life’s hardship, personal growth. How can you love someone if you cannot love yourself and your life? Love never means the whole life -> no love ≠ no life. It is the thing that completes life. That’s it. That’s the sense of reality I was talking about.

So Hotaru no Hikari left me with things to think about. Your love life, pohonphee? Nay, nay, nay. Thinking about it. There must be reasons why very unlikely Korean drama adaptation of J drama or manga works for me.

It has been a long time since the last time I watched J drama. I know there have been several J drama remake in K drama la la land. None of them become my favorite.  Boys Before Flower and Playful Kiss are meh. City Hunter though becomes everyone's favorite, it never becomes mines. That one mom three dads issue of his is killing me really. Operation Proposal is almost this close to become my favorite (Yoon Seung-ho yay!, J  Rabbit yay!), but again the lead female character becomes death weight and the story is felt dragging in the middle. I’m not quite familiar with J drama format. But I know it tends to be shorter in number of episode and duration of each episode. This becomes a problem when it is translated to K drama that, for reason I don’t know why, insists to have 16/15 episodes at minimum, though OCN starts to break from the mold. I think Operation Proposal would be better if it only has 11 or 12 episodes.  

And whae oh whae K drama mostly chose to remake the fluffy and mindless Japanese rom com dramas or manga. I look at you Boys Before Flower and Playful Kiss, What the message are you sending me drama?? Stalking people is alright? Being bratty, overprotective, childish, physically abusive is good trait?? Dim witted, spineless woman is preferable? I don’t know why it seems that K drama adaptation always fails to convoy the underlying message that’s used to be found in the original material e.g. You’re My Pet. Whether they try too hard to be funny or they do half-assed execution. They try to rebuild the body without its soul. That’s zombieeee.

The other thing from K drama that becomes the source of failure for J drama remake is the itchiness to fit all K drama cliché to story line (ugh). Why the hero has to have some dark secret past to compensate their pain in the ass attitude. See Buchou, his mother died when he’s still in such a young age and his father was not around to watch him grow, but he isn’t baggaged with daddy issue or neither has he grown to be inflexible person who always wants things go in his own way because he thinks he has lived the hardest? It was dreaded me when Hotaru no Hikari season 2 started to reveal Buchou’s childhood story. I thought that they were going to take K drama route. Thanks God, it ain’t K drama, Buchou handles his childhood past pretty cool. Point: Your parents are human too, they make mistake and you can’t always blame your parents for what you are now or what you are not. Your parents are your parents, you are you. Each person is responsible for his/her own sin. Parents’ sin doesn’t pass on to children’s shoulders. Grrr. Go down noble idiocy. Less daddy issue is good for you, K drama, swear God. And why there always have to be birth secret, evil mother in law, stick like leeches ex girl/boy friend?

With dad and in-law, we should just sit together

And then roll on the floor :)

The characterization, this I have plenty to talk about. Why is it always at the end of spectrum? Be the character is flat, confusing, and schizophrenic who has dual personality or the character goes to the peak of weirdness, eccentric, quirky and all that. Eccentric character is fun to watch, I know that. But it can’t always fit with the story, especially if they want to make the story relateable that needs the audiences to understand the character, see the character inside their selves. Amemiya Hotaru may look extraordinaire, but I can see myself in her. Sometimes I want to spend my holiday just lay around, read book, watch drama, do nothing in my comfortable worn out cloth. Don’t you? Can they make the character “normal”, no matter how overrated word “normal” is, but still interesting? Because even weirdness has a limit, dude.

Man child  my a***, Mans Up!

Don’t get me started with how K dramas try to depict female character. Man, in this time and age. Women don’t need a prince on white horse each every time to get them out of trouble. They can save their selves. Women have mind of their own. They are not some creatures whose place under other creature called man. They don’t have to be the one who follows their man around. They can make up their mind, make a decision, and stick with it.

What next may seem strange. Job and profession. I always think our job describe what we are. It will affect how we see and approach our life. Our job is the one that takes most of our times in a day. K drama more or less has the same disease with Indonesian drama though less severe, the characters looks like don’t have a job, though despite they said they have. Said the main character is a chaebol and seem the storyline like to stay around and around on his company and whatnot for the source of conflict, so the questions that mostly appear in my head are: What kind of company that he has? What does the company do? How can the company run with said owner running around chasing away the girl of his dream or being trapped in her body (Sure as you like drama)? Let me guess is it a plantation company that can grow tree with money as product in spite of fruit? Psst. Or perhaps a chaebol he is not, but an architect and his job description is……brooding in café. Ok. Tell me where can I apply?

                                      

And it seems there’re always some useless characters scattering around. If they don’t have any importance with the main story line, I hope those characters can stay at the back or even better never be brought up. For example if they want to make an office drama that tells story about a life of an office woman, it supposedly has characters which are chattered more on her office friends and less about her family so no need to bring her aboji, omoni, abonim, omonim, haraboji, hallmoni, imo, gomo, samchon, etc. into the drama. I know this probably because the high sense of communal and kinship in Korea. But still I wish K drama can tame-down that aspect a little bit, so that the story can focus on the main character. Not like suddenly the side character takes over the main character’s part in the story, and then the story turns into place the audience has never imagined before. Welcome crazyville.

Ajumma's Vegetable Store

And for the romantic comedy drama, as it seems like everybody’s favorite genre these days. Noo.... you cannot make the main character died at the end. Noo... both of them should have married to each other. It is a rom com drama for goodsake. Eh said who? Kidding :D but I’m not. Usually love story in K drama starts with the two lovers bickering each other. Thus, both of them step up their game to denial phase, then to confession phase. And they live happily ever after. Woops no, not yet. There must be a misunderstanding phase that every couple should endure, like it or not. Anger, tears, yells, slap, hissy fists, water to be thrown, hair being pulled out, geez this is kid fight or what? The more I watch K drama romantic comedy, the less I want to be in romantic relationship. All these childish acts which surface after two people become lovers, the lazy simply me cannot accept. Take a look at Hotaru and Buchou, they do misunderstand sometime, angry to each other sometime, but they sit, they talk, they forgive and move on, not linger and angry some more. These are things I want to see from the OTP, K drama. I demand a mature relationship portrayal from you K drama. This is a royal order! :P

Perhaps it just needs one good drama to silent my jaded cynical heart, really. When Hotaru no Hikari got me wonder maybe, just maybe, being engaged and married are not as bad choice as I thought before, that time I realized how awesome Hotaru no Hikari is. Boyah, wait a minute pohonphee, what have you just said??? Hurry run and find the to-the-real-life exit door! Quick!!    

Sigh. After all these flaws, why do I still stick with you K drama? Wonder myself. If it is not love, what is it? Tee Hee.

One of the reasons is this:

매드소울차일드: 숨결

Mad Soul Child: Breath

[Lyrics, Romanization]

다시 아침이 오네

Dasi achimi one

Morning has come again

지겹게도 눈부신 태양

Jigyeobgedo nun busin thaeyang

The eye-blinding sun is tiring

언제부턴지 알 수 없을 만큼 더 멀리 더 멀리

Eonjebutheonji al su eopseul mankheum deo meolli deo meolli

I don’t know since when you are getting farther and farther away

내게 느껴지던 그때 그때

Naege neukkyeojideon geuttae geuttae

That time, that time, when I felt it

널 처음 가졌던 그때 그때

Neol chyeoeum gajyeotdeon geuttae geuttae

That time, that time. first time I had you

또 다시 넌 왜 내게서 멀어지는데

Tto dasi neon whae naegeseo meoreojineunde

And you, why you had gotten farther away from me?

난 왜 멈추지 못해

Nan whae meomchuji mothae

Why I can’t stop?

넌 왜 내게서 멀어지는데

Neon whae naegeseo meoreojineunde

Why you had gotten rather away from me?

난왜 멈추지 못해

Nan whae meomchuji mothae

Why I can’t stop?

다시 아침이오네

Dasi achimi one

Morning has come again

지겹게도 눈부신 태양

Jigyeopgedo nunbusin thaeyang

The eye-blinding sun is tiring

언제부턴지 알 수 없을 만큼더 멀리 더 멀리

Eonjebutheonji al su eopseul mankheum deo meolli deo meolli

I don’t know since when you had gotten farther and farther away from me

눈을 마주치던 그때 그때

Nuneul majuchideon geuttae geuttae

That time, that time, when our eyes met

그 더러운 숨결 그때 그때

Geudeoreoun sumgyeol geuttae geuttae

That time, that time, the dirty breath

또다시 넌 왜 내게서 멀어지는데

Tto dasi neon whae naegeseo meoreojineunde

And you, why you had gotten farther and farther away from me

난 왜 멈추지 못해

Nan whae meomchuji mothae

Why I can’t stop?

넌 왜 내게서 멀어지는데

Neon whae naegeseo meoreojineunde

Why you had gotten farther and farther away from me

난 왜 멈추지 못해

Nan whae meomchuji mothae

Why I can’t stop?

돌이킬 수 없이 멀리

Dorikhil su eopsi meolli

Can’t go back, too far

잃어버린 너와 나의

Ireobeorin neowa na-e

Forget about you and me

어두움 그 밑에 잔인한 손끝에

Meoduum geu mithe janinan sonkkeuthe

Darkness underneath, cruelity at the fingertips

사라지네 또 사라지네

Sarajine tto sarajine

Disappear, disappear

또다시 넌 왜 내게서 멀어지는데

Tto dasi neon whae naegeseo meoreojineunde

Again, why you had gotten farther and fartehr away from me

난 왜 멈추지 못해

Nan whae meomchuji mothae

Why I can’t stop?

넌 왜 내게서 멀어지는데

Neon whae naegeseo meoreojineunde

Why you had gotten farther and farther away from me

난 왜 멈추지 못해

Neon whae meomchuji mothae

Why I can’t stop?

넌 왜 내게서 멀어지는데

Neon whae naegeseo meoreojineunde

Why you had gotten farther and farther away from me

난 왜 멈추지 못해

Nan whae meomchuji mothae

Why I can’t stop?

양동근(YDG) : Hero (feat. 이하늘, 소향): 

[Lyric, Romanization]

I who speak to you am hero

I am hero yes who I am

I am hero yes who I am

I am hero

I am hero

올라가면 올라갈 수록 내려가면 내려갈 수록

Ollagamyeon ollagal surok naeryeogamyeon naeryeogal surok

올라가 던지 내려가 던지

Ollaga deonji naeryeoga deonji

결국 날리는 건 애꿎은 먼지

Gyeolguk nallineun geon yaekkutjeun meonji

나는 양동구리 가장높이

Naneun yangdongguri gajangnopphi

나는 독수리 with ill list 부리

Naneun doksuri with ill list buri

이겨라 정복해라 꿈꿔라 33.19케럿

Igyeora jeongbokhaera kkumkkwora 33.19 khereot

알게 돼 하늘이 얼마나 높은지

Alge dwae haneuri eolmana nopheunji

내가 얼마나 작은지

Naega eolmana jakgeunji

두말하면 입 아프지 25년 묵은지 That's YDG

Dumalhamyeon ib apheuji 25 nyeon mugeunji that’s YDG

디지디지 와 디지디지

Diji diji wa diji diji

Bring it Bring it 하 느리느리

Bring it Bring it ha neuri neuri

지나간 날은 모두 뒤로

Jinagan nareun modu dwero

키도 작고 잘 생긴 얼굴도 아냐 비록

Khido jakgo jal saenggin eolguldo anyabirok

돈 많은 것도 아냐 좋은 차가 있는 것도 아냐

Don maneun geotdo anya joun chaga ineun geotdo anya

Just 내게 주어진 길이 hero

Just naege jueojin giri hero

아무도 나의 존재를 몰라도 (난 너의 hero)

Amudo na-e junjaereul mollado (nan neo-e hero)

세상아 모두 비켜 섰거라 (나는야 hero)

Sesanga modu bikhyeo seotgeora (naneunya hero)

너란 사람만 알아주면 돼 (난 너의 hero)

Neoran saraman arajumyeon dwae (nan neo-e hero)

이제부터 날 지켜봐 줘 날 (넌 나의 hero)

Ije butheo nal jikhyeobwa jwo nal (neon na-e hero)

I said a hiphop the hippie the hippie to the

hiphop hoppa ya dont'stop

Can I rock can I rock one time

as I design rhymes devine for your mind

대한민국 케이팝 아이돌만 가수

Daehanmin guk Kpop Idol man gasu

이제 힙 투더 합 변두리음악

Ije hip twodeo hap byeonduri eumak

정말 easy 아이돌이 아니 라면

Jeongmal easy Idoli ani ramyeon

기회 따위 하늘에 별 따기

Gihwe ttawi haneure byeol ttagi

맨날 라리라리 we like the party

Maennal rarirari We like the party

하자 말이 씨가 됐으니

Haja mari ssiga dwaesseuni

하늘이 무너지기지기 직전

Haneuri muneojigijigi jikjeon

이 늙은이 노파심이심이심이 이만저만

I neulgeuni nophasimisimisimi imanjeoman

걱정이 태산이지만 이빨 빠진 호랑인

Geokjeongi thaesanijiman ippal ppajin horangin

오늘도 그저 말로만

Oneuldo geujeo malloman

타고난 삐딱한 태도 때문에

Thagonan ppittakhan thaedo ttaemune

언제나 따라붙어 불량 꼬리표

Eonjena ttarabutheo bullyang kkoriphyo

미로미로 같은 이놈에 인생은

Miromiro gatheun inome insaengeun

언제나 모 아니면 도도 아닌 빽도

Ijenamo inamyeon dodo anin ppaekdo

힙합 하지마 getto 나중에 차 없어서 걸어

Hiphop hajima getto najunge cha eopseoseo georeo

Make money 외쳐도 돈과는 거리가 멀어

Make money wechyeodo dongwaneun georiga meoreo

영광에 지난날들은 뒤로 지금

Yeonggwae jinan naldeureun dwiro jigeum

필요한 건 말보다 배포 두둑한 히어로

Phiryohan geon malboda baepho dudukhan hieoro

I am hero yes who I am

I am hero

거짓말 하지마 눈짓도 하지마

Geojitmal hajima ninjitdo hajima

아물지 못한 상처가 보이지 않아

Amulji mothan sacheoga boiji ana

가려진 현실에 가려진 마음에

Garyeojin hyeonsire garyeojin maeume

Just wait for me

기다려라 hero 나가신다

Gidaryeora Hero nagasinda

기대해도 좋아 난 너의 hero

Gidaehaedo joa nan neo-e Hero

아무도 나의 존재를 몰라도 (난 너의 hero)

Amudo na-e jonjaereul mollado (nan neo-e hero)

세상아 모두 비켜섰거라 (나는야 hero)

Sesanga modu bikhyeoseotgeora (naneunya hero)

너란 사람만 알아주면 돼 (난 너의 hero)

Neoran saraman arajumyeon dwae (nan neo-e hero)

이제부터 날 지켜봐 줘 날 (넌 나의 hero)

Ijebutheo nal jikhyeobwa jwo nal (neon na-e hero)

I am hero yes who I am

I am hero yes who I am

I am hero yes who I am 

I am hero yes who I am

If I will have never got the chance to talk about TEN or HERO aired on OCN in the future, so I let you know how awesome their OSTs are now. 


Thanks To:
 AsianDreamOST, LovBalladReturn01 for the videos